Legion, the Movie: Don’t See It

Time for a gratuitous movie review. The new movie Legion is a fantasy film loaded with CGI effects that suggests that God has gotten fed up with mankind again. Last time God felt this way, he (apologies in advance for using the male pronoun to refer to an omnipotent, genderless, supernatural being) sent a flood to eradicate the human race and start over. This time, God decided to use…wait for it…zombies. Dead people killed by and then inhabited by angels. And of course, the only way to kill a zombie—even though technically, they’re meat puppets that are already dead—is with a broad assortment of heavy automatic weapons wielded by a handful of random souls who are anything but trained users of such weapons and their new leader, the archangel Michael, who is not popular in heaven for his rebellious stance, who subsequently fell from heaven, and who then swiped the weapons from a Chinese toy warehouse in Los Angeles and drove out to a lone diner in the middle of the Mojave desert for a final stand. Most of the plot logic in this film makes even less sense than that. Ditto for the dialog.

As the headline says: “Don’t see it.” Unless you’re drunk, which is how most of the audience in our show chose to attend.